If It's Not A Fuck Yes, It's A No

Self awareness is defined as the conscious knowledge of one's own character, feelings, motives, and desires. This can prove to be pretty difficult when say things like mental illness, intoxication, brief cracks in sanity, are at play. But if you become self aware, you are more likely to notice when your behavior changes, when your way of thinking changes. And then you are more likely to take a step back, breathe, and try to focus on what is really happening rather than what your brain wants you to think is happening.


Not only have I experienced this myself (being bipolar and all) but I've seen beautiful, established, and not mentally damaged women go through this very thing. For example, you have a really great first date and then you don't hear anything else. Maybe you've tried to reach out and they just haven't gotten back to you or if they have, their responses are short and lackluster. Now your mind is racing. Now you are wondering what you did, why they don't like you, why you had a great time but they apparently didn't. Was it my laugh? Was there something on my face? Was my conversation boring as fuck? Was I just not that attractive?


This is the point where you tell yourself to shut the fuck up. Your laugh is yours and you can't change it. If there was something on your face and they didn't tell you, they are the asshole. We're humans and shit happens. If they didn't like your conversation, then you have nothing to talk about. And if you feel they weren't attracted to you, move on because someone else will find you attractive.


Now that you've corrected your negative thinking, you need to accept being rejected. Someone who I used to love very dearly (and I subsequently fucked that up as well) told me something that she had read and she said it changed her life. And this is something that I've never forgotten and is wisdom that I continue to pass on.


If it's not a fuck yes, it's a no.


This doesn't just apply to relationships, this applies to everything in life. If someone doesn't feel fuck yes about you, it's a no. And you need to move on. If you don't feel fuck yes about someone, it's a no. Tell them, and allow them to move on. If it was fuck yes but not it's not a fuck yes, it's over. Move on. Friends, relationships, family. If there is something you were invited to but you don't feel fuck yes about it, don't go. If there is something you want to buy and it screams fuck yes, but it. (Within financial reasoning, of course. You budget must all say fuck yes. Or you can say fuck yes to a savings plan to purchase it.)


What is meant for you will never fail. Do what makes you happy and change what doesn’t. And never stop showing more optimism than pessimism.