Player 1. Are you ready?
Are you ready to play a game with player 2 that only ends in one winner? You have a 50% chance of losing in this scenario. Do you still play?
Of course we fucking do. But why? Why do we continue to play games when we can just be ourselves and win 100% of the time?
When you understand that everyone is going to have a different opinion about you and, yeah, some people aren’t going to like you, there is a certain type of freedom to be yourself. And you know who wins when you get to be yourself? You do, bitch!
I’m going to call this move dodge-ball. This is when someone you’ve been talking to and making plans with starts dodging you. It’s almost like ghosting but you know that they are seeing your messages and you might even get a poor excuse or so.
So, let’s talk about the theory behind this game. The person you are trying to communicate with is obviously not interested in conversing. They most likely don’t want to tell you something negative (like, “I don’t really want to talk to you anymore”) because they think it will hurt your feelings and they aren’t monsters. But why is it so hard to be honest about it?
The solution is that women need to be more confident and understanding that sometimes people aren’t going to like us and that’s not a reflection on ourselves of our worth. It’s literally just incompatibility and that’s okay! It’s a beautiful thing to have so many different people in the world. Stop thinking it’s always about you.
And men, you are allowed to be honest about your feelings, contrary to popular belief. It’s okay to speak up about your feelings too.
This is a game that I’m guilty of. We’re calling it the Olympics because we’re jumping through hoops here.
Because I suffer from a lot of anxiety and I’m currently in a position where letting someone into my life is a pretty big decision, I tend to back out a lot on plans and feelings. I suppose you could call it leading someone on. And the main reason is that I am unsure myself about my feelings and I also don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. But sometimes in leading someone on, you can hurt their feelings too.
I’ve started to be a little more forward with this. I am starting to be strong enough to tell someone that I just want to be friends rather than anything romantic because that’s honestly how I feel. Their response is then up to them. I’ve been honest and that’s the best I can do. I would want someone to tell me about their feelings. But instead I just entertain casual conversation and make plans that will never happen and keep them jumping through hoops until they finally lose interest. That’s not a gold medal move.
We all remember playing this one when we were kids. This is the one where we pretend to be much more than just little kids. We were firemen and teachers. We were princesses and knights.
This is another one that I am also guilty of. Sometimes we pretend that this is everything we’ve been wanting and everything is great because we just want it to be. When we play this game, we ignore all the red flags and all the clear signs that this is going to fizzle out fast. We can pretend all we want, but the reality is that we just want it to be more than it actually is.
I feel like this game is something we don’t realize we are playing half the time. We just want things to be good so fucking bad. It’s an innocent enough desire but it can end poorly.
It’s okay to move slowly. You don’t have to rush things into a serious relationship or friendship. You can take your time getting to know someone and learning their flaws and all the things that will make you love them. Taking things slowly is essential. You need to build and develop these types of relationships. Look at reality, don’t pretend.
The Finish Line
This one is about sex.
The finish line is a game in sex where you race to finish. Simply….don’t.
Take your time. Enjoy the experience. Explore. Be passionate.
It’s 100% okay to be tender and affectionate in bed. It doesn’t always have to be about how hard you can jack rabbit on top of someone for 3 minutes before you cross the finish line. Just because you show some tenderness doesn’t mean you love someone. Sex should be an enjoyable experience for both parties.
Bad sex is simply the worst. It’s not a race, it’s a marathon.