Socializing Anxiety

How honest can we be about ourselves when we are first getting to know someone? How open can we be about our mental health and other taboo topics right off the bat? Why are we so worried that revealing the not-so-perfect parts of ourselves will turn them away? Wouldn't we want someone that would accept us for who we are? With every imperfection?


What's the worst that can happen? The person you are interested in finds out that you get panic attacks and sometimes they make you sleep all day or cry all day. Maybe you've had to cancel plans with this person due to anxiety. Instead of making up some lame excuse and starting your relationship off based on harmless white lies, be honest. Tell them you are feeling too overwhelmed to go out. Tell them you would rather nap than do literally anything else. Tell them you just need to be alone and that it has nothing to do with not wanting to spend time with them but being incapable of spending time with them due to a not-so-perfect brain.


If they respond to your honesty about the imperfect parts of you in anger or lack of understanding, that's a red flag sweetie and you need to remove them from your life. The truth is that anyone that's going to be good for you is someone that you feel comfortable being honest to. In this case, honesty is the best policy.


This isn't just for potential partners but for family and friends as well. When you start being honest about your anxiety and no longer have to make up lies for why you missed an event or canceled plans, you may see a decrease in your anxiety about those events and plans. When people know that you may not feel comfortable going somewhere or doing something, they may try to make it easier for you to attend. When you are open about your triggers and explain how it makes you feel, maybe there will be a way to find compromise so that you aren't as anxious and you can spend time with someone or do something that you want to do.


Say you want to meet up with someone but your anxiety has you unable to go there alone, see if that person can pick you up and drive you there. Sometimes just having the person arrive at your comfort zone first, it'll be easier to leave it. Going somewhere familiar rather than venturing to a new location can sometimes be a decent compromise for spending time together. Maybe a certain time works better than others. Whatever would help ease the situation, do not be scared to ask for compromise. And again, if they aren't willing to compromise to help you feel comfortable, it doesn't mean that they are a bad person but just that they are bad for you.